HOPE …….. Always there, waiting for you to acknowledge & access it.
Usually it just takes a mental shift to turn an issue upside down, view it from a differing perspective, a different angle and suddenly it feels possible to process, experience and get through, whilst remaining relaxed, focused and determined.
I know for some, these are just words. It really depends how YOU choose to interpret my words & indeed the events in your lives.
The image above is me, being introduced to my chemo chair for my first session. That morning i selected clothes that made me smile, wearing my new bob with confidence, knowing that my hair would only stay with me, now for a short while, once all the drugs kicked in.
Sure i was nervous as hell, but i had no choice, i had to do this, not once but repetitively. So i decided to manage it and incorporate it into my existence as if it was a visiting friend who had no real love or loyalty towards me.
As i sat on that chair and waited for the nurses to put a needle in my arm so that they could infuse me with the poison that chemo drugs are, i took 5 mins, just for myself!!! I transported my mind to a place where i was able to breathe again, to remember who i was, the power, dignity & grace of little me. I purposefully fell into myself and my calm space, fully accepting the circumstances and yet truly believing that i was fine, i would be fine and i would come out from this. Who knew if i would be a better version of myself, as long as i was alive it was all good.
I believe that during those minuted i decided exactly how i was going to tackle this illness, i decided, slowly, one little step at a time, with knowledge, clarity & calm. I was lucky to have the support of so many wonderful people including strangers whose kindness and love made me feel so humbled to be in their company, quite literally taking my breath away in gratitude & awe of them.
I still had to endure the chemo and subsequent radiotherapy, as gruelling as it was by survival tactic was to always take myself to my safe space. It has altered the long term mental affect treatment has had upon me to the extent that my endurance level to experience & overcome hardships has heightened. Essentially i’ve become a bad ass of a girl.
MY HOPE —-its there, all the time, it was just my choice whether I chose to incorporate it into the experience of my life.
I choose HOPE every time, without hesitation. I want to smile each and every day a smile that comes from the depths of my Being whether shits happening to me or not.
SO for all of you that are going through some difficult traumatic experience, I hope that this message reaches you, so you may be able to breathe and draw some comfort from the knowledge that there is always HOPE in the background.
Draw upon it, use it, allowing it to change your personal experiences of events you really have no control over.