When i was younger i wanted to run away from everything, my home, my family, my environment, everything. It felt like i couldn’t breathe, i remember that feeling as if it was yesterday and it drives so much fear into my heart, i can’t explain.
I did run, often, too often and on many occasions into circumstances and environments that were not safe for a young girl, but i just needed to breathe, to feel myself for a moment without the pressures of everyone and everything else.
I’m so grateful now that I’m safe and happy to the extent that i don’t feel that desire anymore, but i do recognise it in others, often…. and my heart goes to them. I know that urge to resolve matters by simply running away from them, you may leave the circumstance but nothing gets resolved, instead it festers so that it leaves a stench that neither you or anyone else feels they can deal with.
I understand, however that sometimes it doesn’t feel like you can tackle certain situations and just have to accept events as they unfold, during these times, cling onto your sanity, your instinct & knowing of whats right for you. Don’t deviate from it or try and alter it, justifying the change to match the situation you find yourself in. Be honest with yourself and swallow the facts.
Progression is slow and sometimes like drawing blood, but it is undeniably there fall all whatever your circumstance, little steps and recognition of those steps will progress your life to a place you never imagined possible.
I am still surprised to this day that i can be categorised as a loving wife and mother and the scars of the past don’t re-surface too often in affecting me & my space.
In these cold winter months i hope your all safe and find some sanity within your space…..and if your not, please find a space where you are safe at least, the rest will come, guaranteed xxx