Self Doubt

This is a difficult one, one which never gets easier or you grow out of.

I’m a little older now and I would say that I have re-invented myself at least twice from a professional career to working in other industries to suit my family life.

However, from the outset I have had to push for my work, just to be successful in the chosen career paths that I have opted for, and I mean fought hard, thats not to say that I haven’t suffered from CONSTANT SELF DOUBTING, its been debilitating and negative in so many ways.

I regularly, consciously argue with myself whenever I have some new idea I’m developing. In time i manage to convince myself that what is stopping me is nothing more than self doubt and possibly fear. There is no logical argument in mentally stating my inabilities when I haven’t even began to put my plans into action.

I wish I was as confident as I am now in my 20’s and I also wish I held more confidence now in my 40’s.

It is ridiculous, what we do to ourselves, and that statement is based on logical sense.

We worry that we will fall flat on our face, people won’t like our ideas or our work or even us as people, its just better to remain the same!!

Like hell it is !! I think its actually worse.

There is nothing worse than being in the same position year in year out, for all the stresses, worries and self questioning, it is worth it, if it means that I am, in some way moving froward with my life.

Honestly, I no longer care what peoples opinions are or whether I’m successful or not, that has been the key for me, forget about the outcome and just do what you love, strive fearlessly for your ambition regardless of whether there lies success or merely a lesson learnt for the next adventure.

It struck me that there will come a time when my son begins to feel exactly the same, that fact is worrying & disheartening. As we begin forming into fully functioning adults, we slowly and gradually lose self belief , year by year until we question our own actions. 

Yet there is no risk attached in giving ourselves a chance, being kind to ourselves & thinking with clarity  is all we require as individuals in order to be happy and secure in our own skin and minds.

CONFIDENCE doesn’t come naturally for all of us but I think its worth fighting for, even if it grows slowly after being tested by our experiences. So even though life may be chequered with difficult, stressful periods, as extraordinary humans we can be faced with anything and have the courage & resolve to recover and regain.