This is a difficult one, one which never gets easier or you grow out of.
I’m a little older now and i would say that i have re-invented myself at least twice from a professional career to working in other industries to suit my family life. However, from the outset i have had to push for my work, just to be successful in the chosen career paths that i have opted for, and i mean fought hard, thats not to say that i haven’t suffered from CONSTANT SELF DOUBTING, its been debilitating and negative in so many ways. Now i actually consciously argue with myself whenever i have some new idea I’m developing, in convincing myself that what is stopping me is nothing more than self doubt and possibly fear. The is no logical argument to mentally stating my inabilities when i haven’t even began to put my plans into action.
I wish i was as confident as i am now in my 20’s and i also wish i held more confidence now in my 40’s. It is ridiculous what we do to ourselves, and that statement is based on logical sense. We worry that we will fall flat on our face, people won’t like our ideas or our work or even us as people, its just better to remain the same!! Like hell it is!! its even worse. There is nothing worse than being in the same position year in year out, for all the stresses, worries and self questioning, it is worth it, if it means that i am, in some way moving on with my life. Honestly, i no longer care what peoples opinions are or whether I’m successful or not, that has been the key for me, forget about the outcome and just do what you love, strive fearlessly for your ambition regardless of whether there is success and stature or just merely a lesson learnt.
So, on a daily basis i do what i choose and what i love. Even my husband sometimes giggles at me or my son gives me his advice at 9 years of age, such teachings are now quite laughable, but there was a time when i would of taken note.
I was prompted to write this blog as i have a beautiful, talented niece who is a bright artist and professional, yet she is dogged by self doubt, it was so sad for me to listen to her always second guessing herself. Everyone else sees someone with so much potential except her. It struck me that there will come a time when my son is feeling exactly the same, that makes me SAD, as adults, teenagers, kids we just don’t believe in ourselves and yet there is no risk attached in giving ourselves a chance, being kind to ourselves and thinking with clarity about what we need for us as individuals to be happy and secure in our own skin and minds.
CONFIDENCE doesn’t come naturally for all of us but i think its worth fighting for, even if it only comes after being tested by our experiences. So even though my life is chequered with difficult, stressful periods, i know for a fact, i can be faced with anything and i will cope, typically with a smile on my face….xxx